Laws and Lies of Relationships

October 28, 2017

The Irrefutable Laws of Men and Women


My church in San Diego began a relationship series called "A Match Made in Heaven". I thought it would be interesting to share the message notes since a few readers were interested in how to balance a relationship while in professional school.

All Peoples Church

Pastors: Robert and Stefanie Herber

Message: “The Irrefutable Laws of Men and Women

1.     Law of Self Worth Gen 1:26 “Then God said, Let us make man in our image, according to our likeness” (Our here refers to the father, son, and holy spirit). The ugly duckling was actually a swan but didn’t have the context. He was a swan born and raised among swans but believed he was ugly because everyone around him was a duck. Our worth is in context with our friendship with God Ps. 29: 4-5 “The voice of the Lord is powerful, the voice of the Lord is majestic” We should pray that God’s voice speaks powerful things about our true character. John 15 There is cleansing power in God’s voice

2.     Law of Equals (The Law of Front Opposite) Gen 2:18 “suitable helper”

3.     Law of Highest Priority (Leaving and Cleaving) Gen 2:24 Jesus has a strategy for your hardship, people understand priority in different ways: time, energy, attitude

1.     People understand priority in different ways. This makes me think of the love languages! We experience love in different ways, so it makes sense that we experience priorities in different ways. When making someone a priority, consider what they need. Time, energy, attitude? Be present.

4.     Law of Blessing Gen 1:27 God wants to bless you before you’ve done anything for Him, that’s how much He loves you Gen 3:1 When we don’t believe that that is Gods character and love for us, we open ourselves to deceit. The enemy comes with spirit of offense and disappointment, when our hearts are hardened we can’t hear God. God wants to pour joy in you but can’t when your heart is hardened. How sin enters into relationship: apathy and manipulation. Gen 3:16 Find your fulfillment in God and enter a relationship full and ready to give and not take.


1.     You’re single because you’re too picky. ISSA LIE! Be picky, be very picky. Know your worth and voice a need to be respected. The Law of Self worth says that we can’t love anyone else until we love ourselves. In order to love ourselves we must know ourselves and realize the context in which we were created.

2.     Relationships are 50/50. ISSA NOTHER LIE! Relationships are 100/100. Two (whole) people giving their whole. A relationship won’t heal you and you can’t grow a man or woman. Once we understand the law of self worth, we can more readily begin to understand how we can approach a relationship with open lines of communication, stating what we want and need, and doing the same for another person.

What are some lies you’ve been told? Who have you been allowing to speak things into your life? What context do you identify yourself in?